In most (pretty much all) cases, we have all experienced a sudden detachment to one of our friends and/or partners, who we believed would be by our side until the very end. Unfortunately, in most cases, we feel that the people who we surround ourselves with just do not make us feel warm as they used too, but maybe rather irritated and frustrated. However, in all cases, those people definitely make us feel nostalgic.
Growing as a person means many things change, not just our makeup styles and quirky haircuts, but the way we see the world, the way we react to negativity, the way we treat others. In short terms, our moral compass alters as we grow, and as we grow with others, your moral compasses may not match. You may feel disgusted, disappointed and even upset with the other persons beliefs, if their morals don’t match yours. And thats ok, not everyone agrees with eachother, not everyone will agree with eachother. Maybe their political beliefs contrast yours, or their lifestyle habits dont quite go with yours. Or maybe they never changed, and it was you who grew as a person. Or maybe it was you who never changed, and the other person did, whether thats for the better or for the worse.You may have outgrown the Saturday nights out, chugging insane amounts of alcohol, and they quite have not- or maybe their the ones who outgrew you- and thats all ok.
Friendship „breakups” are arguably one of the most painful experiences, especially someone who was by your side since childhood. But not everything thats good is meant to last, sometimes bad things occur to help you- to shape you as a person. Because at the end of the day, nobody wants to stay the same, they just want the good times to last forever. Whether you guys fell apart due to an argument, or you just outgrew eachother- never treat those people with hatred. You may give eachother distasteful side-eyes in the school corridors- or even screenshot their social media posts to laugh at with your other friends. But you can never forget how much that person changed you, without that person, you may have not learnt to stand up for yourself. Without that person, you may have not made so many happy memories, made so many friendship bracelets, and maybe you would have missed out on doing funny dances to convince your parents to sleepover.
Nonetheless, relationship breakups are relatively the same. Apart from the idea that friendship breakups feel more nostalgic, and hurt in a completely different manner than it does departing from a lover. Relationship breakups are more bitter, they’re fuelled with more rage and resentment. The whole facade of pretending that you’re over them, but in reality you’re far from that. It’s okay to grieve someone who you thought was your future, but in most cases, don’t resent them for the past. This is obviously only applicable if the relationship wasn’t abusive in any way. But why hate someone who taught you to love? Why hate someone who embraced you, loved you? But thats not my question to answer.
In the same way we meet new people, we also lose the old people. And thats ok, its a ritual. An essential part of growth.
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